I love my offspring....the end.
Or is it?
I wonder sometimes if I truly fit in with my other school age mamma's. Some home school their kiddo's (BIG kudos to them!!) Some are volunteer ninjas. You know the type...they are at every event & every field trip. Totally not dissing that! It's just not me. But is this how we measure how truly important our kids are to us? Some mamma's are just wired that way. So why not me?
Oh the guilt and shame pouring down on me when I see that permission slip for a field trip. And right there at the bottom...that box! You know the one... "please check here, if you'd like to be a volunteer for this field trip" And the box seems to jump off the page and slap me in the face. It taunts me...saying... "hey loser...if you wanna be cool, check me". I actually stare at it for minutes, battling at the decision. Quickly I'm let off the hook because my kid doesn't really want me going anyway. Probably afraid I'll embarrass him. Smart kid!
With that said, I give huge props to all the teachers and faculty who are gifted with the ability to teach our kids. They are a special breed! Love them! And for the parents who take time out of their schedules to volunteer so that field trips are run smoothly. After all, I am trusting my kid with them. SCARY! ....on second thought, maybe I should go.
....and the cycle of guilt begins. This is the life of dizzy. I never said I was perfect.
Don't get me wrong, I did all sorts of volunteering when he was younger. It was fun. He was so cute, and innocent and loved me being there. But he's in junior high now. Enough said.
You might think this is highly exaggerated...nope! All of us mammas have SOMETHING that makes us feel guilty, because other moms excel in a particular area. Right? Like the mom who keeps her home spotless....ready for company at any given notice. Or the mom who prepares dinner EVERY DAY for her family well in advance. (WHY do they have to eat?) Or maybe there's that mom that is so gentle, soft spoken and patient to her child. I, for one, fall short in ALL of these areas. I AM NOT SUPERMOM! But here's what I'm good at....
I make sure I tell my son that I love him every morning! When I get him from school, I ALWAYS tell him "I missed you today". At night I pray with him, and kiss his freckle on his cheek and say "I love your guts". I help him with his homework, and careful to be a good listener when he vents about his social issues at school. I'm his comforter, counselor, and his teacher and here's the biggie...I'm his prayer partner.
Yes, I fall short in SOOOO many areas. But I can't let that define me as a mom. I do the best I can. I can't be you or anyone else. And there is nothing wrong with me!! I am exactly the mom God created me to be.
I'll finish with this...have fun on that 2 hour bus trip with a bunch of drama filled kids, listening to the exact same song being sung over, and over, and over. Or perhaps listening to boys who have a mouth like a sailer. (I know, not your kid.. LOL) Have fun trying to keep track of your group and their sack lunches. Yep...good times! Not my circus, not my monkeys! heeheee And I'm ok with it.
~stay dizZy
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